By Namita Kulkarni.
I’ve been regarded every bit a foreign aberration past times a expert give away of random strangers, who thought I was perfectly normal as well as hunky-dory upwards until the indicate where it came upwards inward conversation that I was "travelling alone", for a calendar month no less. And no, I did non create got to locomote dorsum inward fourth dimension a few centuries to detect these unsuspecting souls, who I had unwittingly shocked the living daylights out of. I met them on my recent trip to Bali, of all radical places inward the the world for a adult woman to locomote alone. Its female-friendly reputation as well as depression law-breaking charge per unit of measurement aside, hadn’t it pretty much turned into Single-Woman-Traveler Central overnight a long fourth dimension ago, after a surely Ms. Gilbert (Respect) wrote her wildly successful memoir? Of all places on the planet, I'd expected that this is where a adult woman travelling lone would live seen every bit de riguer, a cliche worn sparse past times now, amongst maybe fifty-fifty create got a few classic jokes of its ain - anything but a shocker.
 |
| Baffling people! |
So there’s the baffled facial expression followed past times "Oh, a girl/woman travelling alone, on your own for a month! How does it feel?" Sounding totally mature, I become "It's AWEsome!"
Another baffled facial expression later, I acquire that classic raised-eyebrows-downturned-mouth deadening nodding accompanied past times "You’re really bold, it's thus brave of you".
Done amongst such heart-felt candor, I tin dismiss almost hear a backtrack of resounding applause from within their head, piece I wonder if this 2nd warrants a grand oral communication I forgot to prepare. On some level, I’m totally enjoying this newly discovered stupor value I didn’t know I had, but I’m likewise cool to permit that show. Compelled past times some honest humility, I endeavour to demystify my jaw-dropping bravery, amongst "Well, I grew upwards inward Bharat ...". Which is to say, I create got a dark belt inward badassery as well as street smarts from growing upwards dodging street sexual harrassment (physical as well as verbal) every fourth dimension I stepped out. And shutting downwards chauvinism, patriarchy as well as misogyny every fourth dimension they reared their ugly heads (a lot!) inward workplaces, colleges, social interactions as well as homes. And retaining my sanity through it all.
 |
| Travelling lone as well as loving it. |
So if they are going to live baffled past times my bravery, they mightiness every bit good live thus for the correct reasons – non for "travelling lone inward Bali", which inward all seriousness sounds similar a tiara made of rainbows compared to life inward Bharat every bit a female. Sure it’s a big bad the world but that’s every bit truthful inward your backyard every bit anywhere else. And to my mind, the dangers/hurdles that i faces as well as punches through every bit a adult woman inward Bharat (street sexual harassment, attacks on women for beingness women, deep-seated misogyny, sexism, patriarchy, you lot acquire the drift) are hardly less threatening than the dangers that locomote exposes me to. In fact, I felt means safer on an Indonesian political party isle total of variously (even ingeniously) intoxicated strangers from everywhere (Gili Trawangan, you lot create got my heart) than I do inward wide daylight inward my upmarket neighbourhood inward Bombay.
So yes, that form of stranger-certified assurance of my "boldness" volition ever seem misplaced as well as a tad archaic. Makes me wonder if they’ve been living nether a stone all this while. What else are they going to live amazed by? The fact that I create got a banking concern draw organisation human relationship inward my mention amongst coin I earned, that I voted terminal calendar week (for a woman!), as well as that if I hook upwards amongst someday, it won’t involve an central of goats as well as cows? Maybe they should follow me some amongst a photographic tv set camera i of these days as well as capture an entire 24-hour serial of amazements nonchalantly performed past times me, i after the other, all inward the casual class of my daily life. And if the mood hits me, I'll fifty-fifty throw inward a freebie karaoke functioning of ‘I volition survive’ for them, piece their archaic heads reel.
 |
| Sunrise at Mount Batur, that makes all the head-turning worth it. |
And here’s an irony which seems to create got completely escaped them. Given that the give away i danger to women - globally, historically as well as statistically - is men, as well as that most crimes against women are committed past times men known to the victim/survivor, shouldn’t it stand upwards to argue that a adult woman is genuinely safer travelling lone than amongst a man? (The give away i danger to men? Good former pump disease. Though I'm glad to know a lot of women who could modify that inward a twenty-four hr menses if they wished as well as gladly claim that dubious observe simply to degree the field, but that's some other story).
With a piddling probing into those astonished minds, I gleaned that what astonished them is the sheer autonomy exercised past times a adult woman when she deems herself capable as well as deserving of a solo locomote adventure, confident inward her powerfulness to accept attention of herself inward unfamiliar surroundings, as well as happy every bit a clam to create got her ain desirable self for company. No external validation or permission skid or honeymoon parcel required. That's where the stupor as well as awe laid in.
 |
| Ready to accept on the world. |
To exam the sexism underlying the conversation, I decided to swap the genders inward the conversation. Talking to this Swede rapper guy I met at the festival, the 2nd he permit it skid that he was – agree your breath – travelling alone – I went “Whoaaa!!! Damnnn!!! What’s that like!!!” Striving to hitting the same pitch of amazement every bit I had past times as well as thus grown accustomed to hearing. My reaction, if I’m at all emotionally astute, stopped simply brusk of appalling him as well as questioning his self-belief as well as sanity, piece he must create got wondered why I’d all of a abrupt as well as inexplicably gone from normal to unhinged. Bewildered past times my undue bewilderment, withal politely trying to shroud it, he said that he did create got ii friends amongst him on the starting fourth dimension leg of his trip, but straight off he was getting some past times himself simply fine as well as that it was no big bargain really. I nodded knowingly at him, the words ‘no big bargain really’ striking a deep chord within me.
When I ran into him the side past times side twenty-four hr menses I permit it skid that I was travelling lone too. Which perplexed him no end. My recent undue bewilderment straight off looked fifty-fifty to a greater extent than ridiculously ‘undue’. Highly bemused, he insisted on an explanation for my reaction. I joked that I had deep-seated double standards that perchance needed a rethink. H5N1 few shared laughs later, I asked him what he had thought when I had reacted that way. With a slew of eloquent profanity (perhaps a Swede thing, or to a greater extent than a 25-year-old hip-hop rapper thing, or both), he said that my bewilderment seemed to create got carried a lot of unfounded sentence as well as presumption nigh him. Quite the deja vu for me! My piddling feminist social experiment had worked as well as no men had been harmed inward the process. I should do this to a greater extent than often, I think thinking.
I'm going to accept a wild estimate hither that it would really much puzzle as well as amuse whatsoever human being – beingness marveled at for bravery, for a trouble that essentially involved buying himself flying tickets, getting a visa or two, maybe having a stone oil excogitation (or not), beingness of reasonably audio hear (or at to the lowest degree able to imitation it, similar most people I know), as well as and thus simply showing upwards as well as putting himself out in that location without self-destructing at whatsoever point. With a basic instinct for self-preservation, similar all living beings everywhere. Brave guy, eh?
|
| Loving my ain company. |
And for the record, women create got been exploring the the world on their ain for centuries, fifty-fifty to the furthest places as well as nether the most treacherous conditions, every bit this inspiring animation points out, inward all of 4 minutes.
I don't know nigh you, but I know how I desire to react the side past times side fourth dimension I run into a human being travelling past times himself.
***
AUTHOR BIO: Yoga instructor. Loves going where she's never been, having adventures/misadventures, reading, singing, dancing, painting, learning novel languages, as well as to a greater extent than oftentimes than non seizing the day. And living to tell the tale. Namita tweets @namitakulkarni as well as blogs at http://huesandviews.
***
Visit www.indiauntravelled.com for experiential (and responsible) locomote experiences inward offbeat destinations across India, as well as join on Facebook and Twitter.
To contribute invitee posts / photograph essays to this blog, delight consider our contribution guidelines and ship your story ideas to blog@indiauntravelled.com.
***